Get Laid or Die Trying Interview with Jeff Allen

What is up guys,

I got something special today. A interview with the pick up artist/guru/sex craved hoe bag that literally got me to take the next step into pick up. A lot of guys ask me Dude what inspired you to do all the crazy shit you do. Well, Jeff Allen.

(Why looks and having a huge dong are all that matters)

. . .

Jeff Allen is a exectutive instructor for Real Social Dynamics and based in San Francisco. If you think a guy driving a creepy white van (with a pedo bear painted it) while pretending to be literally retarded as a pick up ploy to help him bang over 200 women is awesome….this is a person you might want to look into.

He is putting out his second book Get Laid or Die Trying which covers his adventures as a sex crazed maniac armed with pick up routines, alcohol, and boner pills. Picture Tucker Max mixed with the game of a rock star and a sociopath level of outrageous behavior…and you have Get Laid or Die trying.

I had the opportunity to interview Jeff Allen a few days ago to get into the nitty gritty of pick up, Get Laid or Die trying, and many other colorful subjects.

1. How the fuck was the creepy white van idea born? Whats was up with Powerhouses hair when he was your assistant and are Santa Clause costumes the key to hooking sets?

The idea for the van came about organically, just like everything we do. We’re not sitting around in some room giggling and saying “how can we be more retarded?” it just happens and we RUN WITH IT. So in this particular instance, I was hiring for the spring/summer 2010 crew and this kid Frenchboy traveled in from Montreal to do the interviews. I was real impressed with how the guy just dropped everything and decided to come out and live in a hostel for a month during the interview process, not having any sort of guarantee that he would get the job. That’s fuckin MOXIE yo… the kind of stuff pickup heroes are made of. Because in this game there is no guarantee and you are flying on faith and enjoying the ride a lot of the time. So anyways, I tell him that having a vehicle is one of the prerequisites for the position, and he says, “I will get any vehicle that is required of me.”

So about a week later I’m driving back down from Tahoe with Herbal (from “The Game,” he lives in San Francisco and we hang out a fair amount) and it’s a long ass drive, so we’re bullshitting and I tell him about the kid, and how he will get any car we want him to and what should it be. We decided to give him three options:

1. Limo, like they had at Project Hollywood
2. Ambulance… most of these are privately owned in case you didn’t know, you can park it anywhere, sirens, etc.
3. Some manner of creepy white “rape van.”

So on Frenchboy’s first day as assistant I told him he had two weeks to get the vehicle and gave him the options. He thought I was joking. I told him, “I NEVER JOKE ABOUT ANYTHING. EVERYTHING I SAY I MEAN.” And over the course of the next six months he would discover this to be true. lol. So he shows up the next week with this fuckin van. A 1980 Ford Econoline with a Superbowl XVI sticker on it bought from a Lebanese electrician off craigslist for $1000. The boys did a guerilla paint job on it one night giving it the now familiar Pedobear, 2pac and WTC images and the rest is history.

As far as Powerhouse’s hair, well one day he pissed me off so I shaved his head.

Regarding the Santa suits: this was at a yearly festival called SantaCon. San Franciscans love any excuse to get drunk in the daytime, so we gravitate towards festivals. It’s one of my favorite types of game because the crowds are so large it becomes impossible to police and enforce the law, so we can go CRAAAAAAZZZZYYYY.

2. The name of your new book is Get Laid or Die Trying. What exactly does it cover and will we learn any new pick up routines such as …the cube...

You might learn some routines if you’re into that shit but frankly this book is a mainstream release of material I wrote in 2003-2005. The shit I was using back then was all canned. I won’t say it was ineffective, as I got laid a lot, but in retrospect I would say it was WAAAAY too much “work” and not enough “beasting” and “fun.” Nowadays, I do LESS and get laid MUCH MUCH MORE. So if you’re looking for a how to manual this is not that book. HOWEVER, I would say the book is extremely valuable for gaining insight into the KILLER INSTINCT and that “burning the boats” mentality where failure is no longer an option. That’s what the book is: a portrait of a guy who literally decided to handle this shit or die in the process. I think anyone who reads this book is going to come out of it walking like he’s ten feet tall and looking to pound vag in the night like a fuckin wolf.

3. From reading your previous book I know you had threesomes with pornstars, pepsi models and a fat lady that lived down the street from you. You have attacked hair dressers with baseball bats, fingered a girl with a vibrating toothbrush and found inner peace through Eckhart Tolle. What is the secret to living such a diverse life?

Yeah, I mean it’s pretty clear that something happened along the way to make me NOT GIVE A FUCK AT ALL. Girls often ask me, “What the fuck is wrong with you” and I answer “probably a combination of genetic predisposition and environmental factors such as upbringing.” Now that I’m a bit older one would think I may have slowed down a bit and I’d definitely say I’m a little more mellow but volatile nonetheless… like aged dynamite. Fine aged in casks. I will kill you and fuck your corpse. The next book will be even crazier, better, more insane. Nowadays I am drinking female ejaculate like beer and fingering girls with vibrators the size of baseball bats. HITACHI MAGIC WAND LOOK IT UP SON

4. How would you explain the term Beasting that you helped make famous. How can a college aged guy apply this to his life to get laid…by scallywags

Beasting is, at the most fundamental level, two things:

1. Taking massive and immediate action on desires, without hesitation or thought, and
2. PLAYING TO WIN.

This means when you see the girl, you just GO. You do not allow yourself time to rationalize why you should not approach. You’ve heard of the three second rule? This is like the fuckin three-NANSECOND rule. As soon as you see the girl you go. No fear, no outcome. Just WIN. You will go hard, you will make the bold moves that have the potential to get you “blown out,” as opposed to taking the easy route where you are trying to toe the line of micromanaging her perception of you so she thinks you’re cool. I don’t give a FUCK if they think I’m cool, all I’m doing is finding out whether or not she RECOGNIZES THE *FACT* that I am AWESOME. I never communicate to the girl like I’m her new friend to go shopping for fuckin cardigans with. She knows from the get that I’m DTF, by the way I look at her, the tone of my voice, everything. Am I smooth? Sure. But I’m also pushing for the makeout within 20 minutes, or moving on. No thought, no regrets. The only regrets I have are when I FAILED TO TAKE ACTION. I want to go home knowing I did everything in my power to make it happen and it just didn’t pan out. As a wise man once said, you have a choice to make: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The joy of beastmode or the tears of faggotry.

5. What are some dumbest mistakes that most guys make when talking to women. What steps can they take to correct these quickly. Also, what are some of the most effective ways for a guy who has little to know experience with women to make drastic progress

The thing that I see most of the time is sheer failure to connect with the girl as a man to a woman. The guys go up, they stand three feet away like it’s the fuckin JR High dance, don’t look them in the eye, perform gay “KINO” moves such as the vaunted “shoulder touch” and the creepy “Hand on the Lower back.” Their “kino” is some TACTIC, not actually derived from any sort of real sexuality. My kino is dynamic and is designed to do one thing alone: GIVE ME A BONER. Square up with the chick, look her in the fuckin eye and communicate with that eye contact, “DAMN GURL U HAWT LIKE A TEA POT MAKE A NUKKA WANNA FUCK.” The reason guys avoid this is because they fear getting blown out. I’d say GO FOR THE FUCKIN BLOWOUT. WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT LOOKING COOL. Fuck these fags watching you in the bar, they are SPECTATORS, not PLAYERS. I wish I knew this from the get go, I would have gotten laid so much more. I probably would have fucked 400 girls by now instead of 200. Go out. Step to the girls cool and with sexual intent brimming from your soul. Be fun, be cool, but bring the heat and escalate on her ass. As the great philosopher Cyndi Lauper said, “Girls just wanna have fun” hmmm maybe I should put her on the van too.

6. The Jeffy Show 2 is also coming out soon, how is this going to help me get laid by vagina creatures more often?

Jeffy Show 2: Jeffy Shore is a little seminar we did out in Miami. We wanted to put it out as a bonus for those guys who bought Nine Ball, as a BRIBE for continuing to support us by picking up Get Laid or Die Trying. Basically it’s a cool little look into some of the things I’ve been working on since the events depicted in Get Laid or Die Trying. I talk about beast mode, the latest adventures of the crew, insights about relationships, etc. It’s very straightforward and blunt. I don’t really pull any punches in it, it’s real fuckin talk.

(Original Story from the Jeffy Show: CUT THE SHIT TIME TO FUCK)

7. You have traveled around the world and helped 100s of men dramatically increase their success with women. How has this changed you as a person.

Well first off it is THOUSANDS of men, not hundreds. Remember I’ve been doing this professionally for eight and a half years now. It’s changed me a lot. I’ve become more worldly obviously. Learning about other cultures helps you to see the universality of certain aspect of the human experience. In other words, understanding the DIFFERENCES between people can give you deeper insight into the SIMILARITIES. I’d say it’s also made me more PATIENT and UNDERSTANDING. lol. Sometimes as an instructor it’s easy to forget the layman mentality and you just want these guys to “GET IT.” You just wanna shake them and say “Don’t you get it? JUST BE COOL MAN!” but obviously it’s not that easy. I’ve learned to really empathize with the students and allow them to proceed at a pace that is challenging but not so much that they have a meltdown. i’d also say it’s helped my game immensely… I’m drilling the same fundamentals every fuckin weekend… for eight years. It’s like I’m on the bootcamp as a student in a way as well… and happen to be the teacher too.

8. I myself have beasted….it can be a dangerous game, resulting in biblical blow outs. What is the most horrible reaction youve ever gotten from a girl.

I don’t remember ever having been blown out. EVER. I’m sure I actually have, I just don’t remember. I have literally no recollection of these events because they do not matter and I do not care. Some chick tried to attack me or something maybe? I don’t know.

9. Get Laid or Die Trying is your way of bringing your experiences to mainstream public. Are you planning on pursuing writing as a career? Where would you see yourself 10 years from now.

Yes, I have always envisioned this as a career, since I was maybe five years old. I wanted to be a writer. I don’t know why. Other kids were fuckin around playing sports and shit I was writing. I just liked it. It was magical and shit. Developing the ability to change people’s emotional states with black squiggles on paper and noises coming out of my mouth. Words. I guess that was also the beginning of my whole verbal game as it were. The next book is already in the planning stages and it is going to be in the same “universe” as GLODT. In other words, Jeffy will make some appearances in this next one, but the focus will be expanded out to the San Francisco crew, including The Ungayer and Evil Stifler. Basically, the next book is going to ratchet up the insanity and the mania, everything just turned up a notch.

Of course, if this first one is not successful I doubt they will give me another, so if you’re reading this BUY THE DAMN GET LAID OR DIE TRYING BOOK. lol. Anyway, that’s down the road a ways. Right now I am just going to promote the current book and then take some time off to plan the next one and get started. I don’t really want to whine about my process here but let me just say… “writing sucks.” It’s painful and difficult and takes a lot of time. I dedicated GLODT to my family but in reality i should have dedicated it to Adderall, something your readers will likely be familiar with. ha ha.

10. Funniest thing you have seen on a boot camp or in pick up in general.

Hard to say, as I’ve been doing it so long it all kind of blurs together. Also I smoke too much pot. But I’d say it’s always funny when someone gets punched. This one kid got punched EIGHTEEN TIMES in one night, by different totally unrelated groups of people. Hahahaha that guy was hilarious. He didn’t even care, he just kept gaming and acting like a fuckin ass. The next day we were in the park day gaming and his face was all swole up and shit lol but he was still going hard. Had another guy get punched and then laid. So as far as funniest thing on bootcamp, either dudes getting punched or maybe just the fact that bootcamp even exists at all. That’s pretty funny if you think about it. Or my haircut, or maybe the van. I don’t know, the whole thing is pretty damn amusing to me.

11. Best item to peacock with

A rape van with a mural of pedobear on the side and an atrocious, self-cut mullet, with 20 pounds of ridiculous, obviously fake bling, and a totally fuckin jacked physique. Maybe some twilight shit too

12. I have read you have a 60% rate of lay on a boot camp. This means over half of your students end up bumping ulgies with a femal critters they just met with your teaching. This is impressive because many of these men have little to no experience with women. What do you credit this statistic to?

I credit this statistic to how ridiculously easy it is to get laid when the correct principles are internalized and applied in accordance with the mechanics of the game. Girls are horny as fuck.

13. What inspired you to write Get Laid or Die trying. What do you want people to get out of it?

Well you know, for all the crass antics depicted in the book, it’s easy to overlook the message at the end, which remains very genuine and heartfelt. To me, it is a message of forgiveness, both towards those who you feel have wronged you (whether that be individuals, women, society, etc) and more importantly towards yourself. It’s a cautionary tale about how power corrupts on another level. There are also a lot of deeper insights into the nature of identity and the illusion of “control,” and how sometimes you have to just LET GO of what you want in order to actually GET IT. I think ultimately it’s an uplifting message, which sounds weird when you’re talking about a book like this, but hey there it is.

14. If you could instill one mindset or understanding in every guys head would it be.

GO OUT EVERY DAY/NIGHT AND APPROACH WOMEN. EVERY SINGLE DAY.

15. Closing statement on any subject ever?

DURRRRRRRRR

Get Laid or Die Trying is out now and can be purchased at the link below. My copy is already in the mail, if you order by April 5th you will get a copy of the Jeffy Show 2 for free.