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Life as a GDI
This is a topic that I’ve heard all too many comments about and it’s time that I address GDI vs Greek life from the minority view – being a GDI.
I’ll say that one thing I heard alot of people say in college was, “I’m thinking of joining a frat/sorority so that I could meet alot of people”. This would absolutely blow my brain as throughout college, I had just as many (if not 3-10 times) more many people that I knew than the Greeks. Even though I went to a big University, alot of people came with beliefs that it would be “hard to meet people” or that they’d just be “another face in the crowd”.
For me, College felt BETTER than high school. I could go anywhere I wanted on campus and be recognized by someone (usually large groups of cute chicks), I could meet girls freely, and I didn’t have any social obligations to any organizations or groups. I had the perfect mix of being recognized wherever I went and having anonymity at the same time. It’s difficult to describe through words, but it’s the equivalent of feeling like you know everyone or could easily get to know everyone. You don’t have to, but if you want to, you could.
A mindset of “everyone is my friend” is powerful, liberating, and EXTREMELY helpful while increasing your social circle, meeting girls, and romping them in the sack.
So what is it like being a GDI…
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While some guys prefer the Greek route (like HPRJ), I strongly prefer the GDI route.
I’ll address some of the pros and cons of being a GDI.
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What is GDI?
GDI – (Noun). Gamma Delta Iota (ΓΔΙ) or “God Damn Independent”; A fictitious fraternity used by fraternity and sorority members to refer to people not affiliated with such organizations.
If you’re not in a frat, then you’re a GDI..plain and simple.
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Prior to writing this article, I had never affiliated myself as a “GDI”. I never really attached that label to myself, and I probably never will outside of this article. I just consider myself a cool guy.
And my motto is this….
“A cool guy is like Mastercard…accepted everywhere”
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So what are the advantages of being a GDI?
Advantages of being GDI:
-Free time due to no social constraints. Alot of my frat friends complained that they had chapter meetings that were long, boring, and unnecessary. In addition, they had mandatory events that they didn’t want to go to. In addition, some said that the pledgeship process was the most longest, most dreadful time of their lives. Being a GDI, you never have to deal with any of this stuff.
-No one telling you what to do…ever – You never have to abide by a strict set of rules, you don’t have to go through pledgeship, you don’t have upperclassmen that feel “entitled” to boss you around. You set your own rules, all the time. You are the captain of your soul and the master of your fate.
-Ability to choose the people you associate with freely – You aren’t compelled to associate with one group of people. In my experience, I’ve seen frat bros who only hang out with frat bros and no one else. My life as a GDI allowed me to meet ALOT of Greeks as well as a lot of non-greeks who I would have never be able to meet before. I could just branch out into any social circle that I wanted and have my own fun.
-More ability to network. MUCH greater ability – Remember, when you’re a “cool guy” you’re accepted everywhere. You don’t *have* to stick with a certain group of people because you feel accepted by them. You have the ability to make friends ANYWHERE you go. Because everyone is your friend, you walk around knowing that you don’t *need* anyone behind you but yourself.
This ultimately translates into a VERY weird “social multiplier” effect. At first, you’ll know only a few people, but because you’re a fun, cool guy, you start to attract shitloads of people into your life who are fun because YOU are a giver of value. Eventually, you’re going to show up to a party out of the blue and realize that you already know everyone in the room. THAT’s when you know that you’ve arrived. (But beware of the ego trip that comes after that feeling that “I have arrived”…I fell into a massive trap with that one)
-Anonymity. Sometimes, people will know who you are simply by your frat. Other times, you’ll show up and your presence alone can generate a “Who is he?” vibe around you. Once you establish yourself as cool, outside I heard different Greek girls say, “Wow…it’s like a breath of fresh air to meet a cool guy not in a frat”.
-**You’re on your own** – If you go to a college and you don’t know anyone, then it’s up to you to make everything happen. Whenever I entered college my freshman year, I ended up knowing only about 10 people. 7 were from my high school, 3 were from college visits that I made prior to starting. From there, I amassed a GINORUMOUS social circle which consisted of (mostly) girls, but also some really cool guys. I want to say that it is around 2,000-3,000+, but I’m starting to find out that number might be too low. I did this all within the span of a year in my Freshman year and it paid wonders as the year progressed.
This made the entire idea of “making friends” and “getting girls” literally the easiest thing in the world. If I could do something like this with no prior knowledge, feeling EXTREMELY frustrated because I was on my own, then I’m 100% sure that any guy who’s committed to having fun, getting to know people, wanting to get girls, and just wanting to live life to the fullest would be able to do it. My success shows the minimum of what could be done.
-**CORE CONFIDENCE** - I’d say that this is the NUMBER ONE thing that I built over my time period of living the GDI life. An ability to feel comfortable around other people wherever I go.
At first, the different amount of environments that I partied in made me feel very anxious. One night, I’d be at a house party, the next a frat party, then downtown at the bar. I’d usually go to these places with a small group of friends (mostly girls), so I’d have no capable wingmen. On top of that, I don’t like to drink, so everything I did was practically solo and sober. I didn’t have any frat or any group of people that I identified with, so I had to establish some strong boundaries from within. I had to REALLY dig deep inside myself and come to terms with the question “Who am I?”
I’m sure that you could also develop core-confidence while in a frat, but this is where I noticed that I differed from my good frat buddies. If I went to a frat house with my Greek Guy friends, we’d party it hard. I’d be the life of the party and THEY would be the life of the party. It was *their* frat house so they were completely at home in the environment and willing to have boatloads of fun.
However, once we’d switch over to a bar downtown, my Frat buddies would turn into chodes and feel paralyzed by the environment around them. Were they true chodes? No, some of these guys had game, but they only had strong *SITUATIONAL CONFIDENCE*. When they partied at their house, they had the situational confidence which ultimately got them laid.
But take them out of their little “Bubble” where they felt most at home and their true game would shine forth. Some guys would shine like the sun in an environment like this, but too many of them floundered around like fish when their environment was messed with.
For me, I came to terms with the world and realize that the ENTIRE world is my home. No matter where I went, I KNEW that I would be able to meet people, make friends, talk to beautiful women, have glory times, and enjoy myself. At first, I thought this was only a “college” thing, but when I stepped out and realized that my game had “transferred over to the real world”, I realized that I didn’t need anything but myself to have a good time in life. Everyone is my friend and I treat them according to that belief. It makes the world a VERY light place.
Regardless of whether or not you choose to become GDI or Greek, make sure that you’re placing yourself in situations where your reality could eventually crumble. By constantly exposing yourself to new environments and testing the strength of your reality, you only make yourself that much strong.
To put it in a game analogy: if you keep playing the same level over and over again, then you’ll eventually figure out how to beat it with your eyes closed. But instead of just playing the same level, make sure that you play different levels, keep upping the difficulty, and play some games that you would never play before. It’s the experience that counts most.
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There are, however, some potential drawbacks and disadvantages to living a GDI lifestyle, but I talk about how to counter-act these potential obstacles.
Disadvantages of being a GDI:
-You can fall into the trap that “you need to be greek to fit in”. One thing that I had to get out of my mind was, “I have to be in a good frat to get laid, otherwise, I’m not going to get anything”. For a while, my interactions with women would go PHENOMENALLY GREAT, then she would mention, “Oh yeah…I’m in a sorority” and then my behavior would change completely. I’d try to live up to HER standard instead of the opposite. Very subtly, attraction would drop, and I knew that I would not be bringing that girl home.
This was an EXTREMELY SUBTLE thing. For example, my guy friends (who didn’t who would be viewing from This messed with my mind for about 6 months until I realized, it doesn’t matter. You create your own standards of what is cool and what is not.
-Social events do not “fall into your lap”. AKA no social mixers, no proms/formals, and no special “Greek Events”. You have to become a STRONG go-getter when it comes to making things happen. In this case, mass texting and Facebook are your best friend. You can organize special events and people will love you for it. It could simply be something like organizing a group to go to Salsa lessons, going downtown dressed in Las Vegas suits/dresses, having a dorm party, or even going out to eat as a group. Since you don’t have a Greek Superstructure which organizes these activities for you, you have to organize them yourself.
-If you aren’t willing to go out and ACTIVELY meet people, then you’re fucked. There’s no easy way to say it. For the first 90 days of college, I challenged myself to meet AT LEAST 5 girls a day who I didn’t know. Eventually, the social multiplier kicked in and life became easy. However, for a guy who’s not dedicated to actually branching out the first couple of days of college, then Greek life might be the catalyst you need. But you’ve gotta be willing to get out there, take the hits, and make things happen.
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How you can to maximize your experience as a GDI
-Get a Greek friend. Girl AND guy. One per frat/soro, treat them like a real person. Have fun with them, be a friend, and when it comes time for parties, they’ll invite you or you could just ask, “Hey…I heard you guys were having a party, I have some chicks that want to party, is it alright if I bring them?”
-GIRLS. Females are a currency in themselves. I remember sitting at a table with 7 of my guy friends. It was just casual guy conversation, then a girl sat down and joined the conversation. While I can’t remember if it was one of lady friends or not, I DO remember that the entire dynamic of the table switched. It became MUCH more alive, MUCH more animated, and the guys “perked up” a bit.
-Alcohol. Personally, I don’t drink, but I have ALOT of friends who love to. Even though alcohol puts me *more* in my head than it does out, I have ALOT of friends who use alcohol as a “social lubricant”. Alot of people in the world are nervous when they get around other people, so they need something to “bring them to life” and allow them to drop their social inhibitions.
While I don’t drink anymore, I have no problem buying a Handle of Vodka for a couple of friends so that *they* can have a good time. This is called *giving value*. Since Alcohol is another form of social currency, it’s good to have this on hand – even if you don’t drink, like myself.
Oh yeah, Alcohol makes girls do crazy things….duh. But everything in moderation.
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That’s everything.
If there are any questions, let me know.
Next topic that I’m most likely going to be writing about: “5-a-day’s: How This Habit will Catapult your Social Success in College to The Next Level” something along those lines that actually teaches you how to start building that social circle AND that cold-approach skill set at the same time.
Cheers.
-AR
If you enjoyed this check out a few other threads about college and girls
Meeting Girls at Parties
Gaming Girls While Drunk…zomg
Getting Laid No Matter What
Anonymous says:
im startin to get in this same headspace good article.. one question howd u go about remembering everybody because I meet a ton of people and than I forget their names or whatever during the interaction or the next day etc.
Anonymous says:
Nice, really lookin forward to the next one though. Get er done!
CEO Arob says:
@ Anonymous1:
For remembering names, it was the weirdest thing. I would be able to remember people's names in a 4-6 week interval. I'd meet a "wave" of people and semi-remember their names, but after those 4-6 weeks, I'd have them completely internalized. I still even remember them now. It's weird.
You'll find your own method to developing ways to remember. But for girls, I always had them spell out their names.
"Hi I'm Jessie"
Me: "Oh…spell it for me"
"J-E-S-S-I-E"
Me: *Seeing the letters in front of me* Awesome.
Names are really the most important thing. Because I got tired of getting called, "Hey Dude" or "Hey Man" or "Hey Bro" it's alot more valuable to remember someone's name.
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Anon 2: YEP. It's going to be the best article in the world.
Anonymous says:
This some pretty inspiring stuff man. I go to a big state school so the Greek influence is always going to be there. I have friends in frats, sororities, the football team (HUGE PLUS), etc. I have virtually no problem getting into parties. My problem comes when I have friends who aren't as socially apt as I am, tagging along and making me unable to get into parties (my school requires girls per guy ratio for party entry). This is VIRTUALLY the only reason I'd want to join a frat. The pledging + the dues, however, are really big cons in joining for me. How do you think I should handle my friends who wanna tag along with me? Thanks pal.
fierysasuke says:
I Love this article Ceorob, but do you have any advice for a guy like me that goes to a COMMUNITY COLLEGE and there are no dorms, and its only like 3k people
CEO Arob says:
@Anon1
Hey man, I completely understand. It's like you're a social god but your other friends aren't just quite to your level yet. So whenever you bring them around, it's almost like you have to micro-manage their night and make sure that they're doing well.
This is something I did over the year…it should also work for you…
In the time that I spent for my freshman year, I had somewhere around 600 phone numbers. About 550 of them were girls. 50 of them were guys. This was my mobile Rolodex for girls who were down to party and guys who I thought were cool. I labeled girls in my phone as "Party Girl" or "Cool Guy". Any phone should have the ability to make "groups" so this works.
Whenever it was time to party or I was going downtown (thurs, fri, sat nights), I would text up my specific "party girls" and see who was wanting to party.
One thing that people KNEW me for was that I partied…ALOT. So certain girls were always asking when I could get them into a party. And same thing with guys too.
If I were heading to a specific frat party that I had no connections to, I would just bring ALOT of hott/cute girls with me and that would get me in.
Basically, build a network of girls who are DTP. Have these be your "call girls" – these are girls who are down to party at certain nights or all the time. All they need is a location and party theme and they're good to go.
Let me know if you have any specific questions about that.
-AR
CEO Arob says:
@Fierysasuke
Hey there Fiery,
In the works is an article about "Community College vs Big Universities"
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In community college, it basically goes on the "Big Fish/Small Pond" dynamic.
I went to a big 35K person school. I was a big fish in a big pond, but I still had fun and enjoyed myself.
I used to think that Community Colleges were shit until I realized something simple…
Even though I was a big fish in a big pond, if I were to move to a community college, I would essentially become a "Blue Whale in a Bathtub".
How?
I would get to the small community college and get known as the guy who throws parties, knows where everything is at, organizes club events, etc. It's basically like a party promoter. The only difference is that everything would essentially run through me and I'd be known as the "go to guy" for parties, hookups, social events, etc.
EVERYONE in college is looking to have fun. The BEST way that you can provide that fun is by hosting parties on the regular. Organizing events at your house/apartment/a friend's apartment/etc, or just by knowing where shit is going down.
I wrote about how "I felt more comfortable in college than I did in high school", but honestly, if I were to go to a 3000 person school, it would be the equivalent of me trying going back to middle school and trying to pass. It would be ridiculously simple. It's the same dynamics just on a much more micro scale.
Be the party. Once you're known as "the guy" for parties, then you'll have people COMING TO YOU.
It's just as simple as that.
Take care,
-AR
Jeremy says:
How were you so successful socially and with women if you didn't drink?
CEO Arob says:
@Jeremy:
Who says that you need to drink to become socially successful and successful with women?
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But really, as I started drinking, I noticed that Alc actually put me more in my head than it did to take me out of it. If you're adding to the party, people don't really care if you drink or not.
If you're a fun, cool, social guy who just chats up everyone and has a smile on your face, then you're going to be successful at this.
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On a side note though, this is a question that I kinda "LOL" at. I've just experienced going to enough parties/clubs/etc sober to know that it doesn't matter. Asking that question to me is the same as asking, "Is it possible to walk with two legs?"
My next article that's coming out about "5 A Days" is going to explain everything about meeting women during the day AND night whether you're sober or not.
But to answer your question directly: How was I so successful? I just brought the party everywhere I went. I didn't need alc to loosen me up.
Jeremy says:
Alright thanks. I will read your stuff more for sure. I recently made a thread on a forum about how am i supposed to be successful socially in college/ getting invited to + enjoying parties without being a drinker. Get a lot of disheartening answers. I just wonder if people will invite me to events even if i dont drink or if they will notice that im not if i do get invited.
CEO Arob says:
@Jeremy:
It's understandable.
In my case, for the past five years, my liquid intake has been about 90% water, 7% juices, and 3% "Trace Liquids" (Iced Tea, the forced Carbonated Beverage, and Alc.)
It's really a health reason that I don't drink alc. I'm committed to keeping Alc out of my liquid intake, and I've made a decision to have fun without it.
I think that it's my commitment to my decision that makes people just accept it. Why does no one care that I drink? Probably because I'm congruent with it. I bring the fun regardless of if I'm drunk or sober.
Whenever I'm at parties and stuff, I usually have a waterbottle in my hand, but I'm usually causing the most noise and having the most fun.
In the rare event that girls (or guys) actually ask if I'm drinking, then I just say one of the following responses:
-No
-I'm already under the influence…..of myself
-I'm driving
-Not drinking tonight.
-New years Resolution/30 day challenge for no alc
-I'm Mormon
But no one really cares. Just be congruent with your decision and have fun.
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But to answer your question directly: Will people invite you to events and parties?
Yes. They will.
***HOWEVER THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING***
the reason you got so many "disheartening answers" is because most people in this world who meet women and go out do it with alcohol and get very drunk alot. They have little/no experience with actually getting girls sober.
I feel my painbody awakening…
But to answer your question, yes.
Boomy says:
Painbody, are you into Eckhart Tolle? I guess it really helps if you're good at being present without alcohol
Anyway, I just started my second semester in college (not in the US) and I was really social the first two months and pulled a few times. Then i just stopped somehow. Now I mostly hang out with a few guys and almost no girls (outside of school events / parties / clubs) and haven't pulled any.(which sucks and i'm going to change that).
It seems unreal to me how you could get to know 2000-3000 people in the course of a year and remember them all. You must've been partying ALL THE TIME and hanging everyday going reaally hard. How did this effect your grades?
I live in a student city with around 4000 people living in it. Maybe 3000 study at the schools.
I understand you must've been really serious with the 5 phone numbers/day. I doubt I could becoming commited enough to stick with that. Also, i want to be successful at this, but at the same time i don't want to put together a bunch of social events and stuff like that, nor do i want to arrange parties in my dorm. (well not several days per week)
See my dilemma of wanting the cake and eating it?
CEO Arob says:
@ Boomy:
Understood. Gonna break this into four parts real quick:
1) Painbody: I've read both "Power of Now" and "A New Earth". I use painbody whenever I feel myself getting agitated or indignant. I use it only in parody and satire.
2) Meeting people: 2000-3000 was roughly about 10% of the people on my campus. The more people I got to know, the more I realized I was never going to have time to get to know everyone. The more people I met, the better I got with names…weirdly enough.
3) Habits: The "5 a day" habit article which I'm writing is truly going to be my Opus Magnum. It will explain how I did it and how you can too.
4) Have Cake and Eat it too: The more you start socializing and putting yourself out there, the more you'll realize that there are thousands of ways to have fun with your friends. People in college go wherever the fun is. You don't necessarily *have* to throw parties and stuff like that. But if you can create something that is fun and people enjoy, then you'll attract people to you and as a result, girls will come too.
I'm really gonna get this article about "5 a Days" out there…
-AR
John Doe says:
Eyy did you ever get the 5-a days article out? I’ve been reading for a long while now and I don’t remember that particular one. Ohh and by the way this article is golden.
Boomy says:
Alright. Thanks for your reply. Looking forward to your article. Really appreciate your webpage here. Lots of value
5 Tips to Flirting With Girls : VIDEO BLOG | College Flirt says:
[...] Boomy on Life as a GDI : Alright. Thanks for your reply. Looking forward to your arti… [...]
John Doe says:
@ CEO Arob
Eyy did you ever get the 5-a days article out? I’ve been reading for a long while now and I don’t remember that particular one. Ohh and by the way this article is golden.